Saturday 24 October 2015

New beginnings in Brighton

Long time no blog. (What's new).

I moved to Brighton just over a month ago to study at uni. I spent many months undecided whether or not this was the right step to take - after my gap year my desire to travel has tripled and deep down I know I want to become a nurse. However, I wasn't ready to give up on music just yet hence why I am now down in Brighton.

I've met so many people since I moved here - some absolutely lovely people and some not so lovely. Obviously, my anxiety has become a lot easier to deal with otherwise I wouldn't be here- but this past week or so it's really come back with a bit of a vengeance. I think this is why I'm blogging it - because as lovely as some of the people are here, they don't get it and I can't really talk to them about it without the usual "but you seem so happy", "maybe you should do more in your day","I totally understand what you mean" kind of comments. There's so many confident, attractive, well-dressed people and I think it's knocked my self-esteem. Which is a pain the ass considering how long it took me to build it up- but I am determined to not let it ruin things for me and to build it back up again. The past week or so I've been having similar thought patterns to when I was bulimic- I've not acted on them and I'm doing everything I can to stay on track.

Even just writing this has made me feel so much better because I don't feel like I'm bottling it up, trying to keep the way I'm feeling hidden. So if you've taken the time to read this and listen to me trying to piece together my thoughts, then thank you! & if anyone's been in a similar situation and has any advice then please do get in touch.